"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."
This pretty much sums up my last year and a half. It's been crazy. In November of 2015, I hurt my back at work and had to go through PT and be on light duty. Meanwhile, staffing started getting really bad. We were working ourselves to death. I was lying awake at night worrying about my patients and wondering if I forgot something. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat without getting sick, and my heart was racing at time. In February of last year, I started having horrendous abdominal pain, to the point that my coworkers worried I was going to pass out. I suspect I developed an ulcer from the terrible stress of my job and the NSAID's I was on for my back. Knowing that my PCP would just tell me to take omeprazole even it was an ulcer, I started myself on a prescription-strength regimen of Prilosec, which helped some, but never totally resolved it. I am finally going to get it checked out once my new insurance kicks in.
Last May, the day before school was out, we found a note on our door saying we had to move within 30 days. We weren't being evicted, but since we were month to month, they wanted us out so they could update the apartment and raise the rent significantly. The same day, while driving all over town looking for an apartment, our only vehicle died and needed an $800 repair, money we didn't have. Oh, and I had worked all night, so I was processing this on no sleep, though I was doing way better than my DH. He was FREAKING OUT. It got really bad. Everyone we knew was trying to help us find a place in a hurry. My mom knew people from her church whose son owns a bunch of rentals, so she gave me the number to call. Our new children's pastor at church mentioned that a place near them was for rent, so we called about it, only to discover that it was the same number my mom gave me. It was 1/2 a house for less than we were paying for our apartment, but the school wasn't very good. As it turned out, it needed a ton of work and wasn't going to be ready in time anyway, but the place we called about it had several other properties, 1 of which was in a much better school zone and was a whole house, but it was about $55 more than what we were paying. However, we had both recently gotten raises and could swing it, but it would be tight, and we were a little nervous about the utilities being high in such a big, old house. We took it though, and for the first time, we had a YARD, to send the kids out in when they were driving us nuts, and a DECK to hang out with friends on. So exciting! We're also in walking distance to downtown, including the library, which is great when you only have 1 car.
Having to move and start a new school this year really threw Gabe for a loop. My already hyper and somewhat volatile kid was becoming much more volatile. He was losing his temper a lot, and getting a bit destructive and starting to be really mean to his brothers. My mom took him to her brother's to play with all his cousins for a week in early June, which was a welcome break, and he had a blast, but it was no better when he came back. We did a lot of activities over the summer, including a fun academic program to help him not lose ground over the summer, but it became such a battle than I gave up on it and just made him read. He did day camp at church for a week and all the boys did VBS at another nearby church, which they're still talking about, but when he was home, it was often rough. One day, he hurt Alex badly enough to scare me to death. I called my mom, crying hysterically, and she came over and took him for the night and talked to him. I started researching counselors and insurance coverage for mental health and continued working on getting him into the twins' pediatrician. I wanted him evaluated for a learning disability and ADHD. I finally got the old records from our PCP (whose office had closed) to the pediatrician and got him a counseling appointment.
When I took him to the pediatrician and told her my concerns about his academic difficulties, she walked in and said, "Alright, we're going to get this kid some help. Are you ready to fight?" As it turns out, her son has dyslexia, and she was one of many parents who went to the state board of education to fight for resources for their kids with dyslexia in their local school district, which had been failing them miserably. Her local school system now has the best dyslexia program in the state. I nearly cried. After months of stress and worry and feeling like I was failing my kid, I finally had someone in my corner who could really help. She told me how to request a multi-factored evaluation from the school, and I got the ball rolling. We also completed questionnaires for ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Conduct Disorder. He ended up scoring just below average or low average on most things academically, but he scored VERY high for ADHD, and somewhat high for Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder. Our pediatrician doesn't buy the ODD and CD diagnoses though. She thinks it's all tied to the ADHD and learning difficulties. She and I still believe that he may be dyslexic. The things he scored lowest on in the school testing are what would be expected from someone with dyslexia, but only a neuropsych can diagnose that, and it's horrendously expensive and not covered by insurance. He is getting a TON of reading intervention though, even without an IEP. For now, he has a 504 plan at school that gives him testing accommodations, a wiggle seat, fidgets, frequent cues, repeating of directions, etc. He made huge improvement in his reading from October-December and only needs 6 more points on one of the standardized tests to pass the 3rd Grade Reading Guarantee. He's finally reading at an early-3rd-grade level, but is still about 2 levels behind where he should be now. He failed social studies the first quarter, but got an A- this quarter, so he is making progress. He's drowning in math, because it's so much new information, and he just can not do timed tests, but he seems to understand the concepts for the most part. It's mainly the memorization, and the story problems, that throw him.
The twins started kindergarten in the fall. We kept them together, because I knew how shy Alex was and that he would do much better with Isaac in his class. Well, he got over that fast! He's doing great in school, as I knew he would, since he's always LOVED books. It's amazing how much his confidence has grown since starting school, and now he's ready to be away from Isaac. My boy who used to be scared to death of the animals at the zoo is now standing up for himself and expressing his own ideas and swinging high and meeting new people. We'll be splitting the twins up next year. Isaac, on the other hand, my happy-go-lucky boy who's never worried about anything in his life, has had a little rougher time. He's doing well in school, but he keeps saying he's bad at things. Not sure where that's coming from, but I'm hoping being in a different class than his naturally-bright and newly-confident twin next year will help.
In October, Neil started getting really worried about the SUV. It needed wheel bearings, and we knew it was going to be prohibitively expensive. It was nearly paid off, so we started looking into getting a new vehicle. We were constantly getting pre-approval offers from our lender, so we discovered that we could get a minivan (which we had been wanting since the twins were born) for $0 down and a way better interest rate than we currently had. We went to the dealership with pre-approval certificate in hand and drove our new van off the lot about 90 minutes later. It was painless, and our payment is way less than it was, which helped cover the increased medical bills for Gabe's therapy and meds. See what God did there? Some friends from our old church also insisted on giving us the money to get the SUV fixed, so we had 2 working vehicles within a couple weeks. The new vehicle allowed the kids and I (Neil was working) to go to my uncle's house in PA for Thanksgiving, which we hadn't been able to do since I was pregnant with the twins. It was great to be with family again.
Meanwhile, work was getting more and more stressful. My BP and pulse have been running high, and I was having chest pain almost every day I worked. My bosses and co-workers were treating me like a manager, and I was getting calls and texts at home for questions or having to text people when I was off to figure out how to resolve issues that were created by (non-nursing) management. When I had to spend an hour texting back and forth with my DON on Christmas Eve for such an issue, then walk into work on Christmas knowing that I was going to get yelled at by a doctor and the patient, that was the last straw for me. Thanks to the new van, and having all the kids in school, I could finally look for another job, so I applied for multiple new jobs in January, one of which was at a hospital where our former NP works, and had 2 interviews in February. At the end of February, I finally got a job offer from the hospital where my friend works, for their critical care unit, and I accepted it. It's night shift, which will allow me to be home every afternoon to help Gabe with his homework, which is a huge blessing. I train on days for the first several weeks, but then I'll transition to nights. I'm so excited to have a job that's so much closer to my goal, and it's a small community hospital where they really value their employees and want everyone to get along. Plus, we get state benefits. I really couldn't ask for more at this point. It will be a learning curve for me, but I love to learn, so that's no problem. It forced us to find a babysitter for a couple hours when our shifts overlap, but I found a college student who's majoring in Early Childhood Ed and Psych, who wants to be an ABA therapist, and she can do mornings and evenings, so she's pretty much perfect, and it will be good for the boys to have another adult around sometimes. This job was clearly orchestrated by God. How else would I get a great job at the perfect time as a result of someone I worked with at the place I hated 2 years ago and for some reason kept in touch with?
Okay, that got crazy long, but I felt impressed in church today to get it all out in writing. It's been quite the roller coaster year, but the blessings have been numerous, from a new house and car to the perfect pediatrician, to a teacher who's a fantastic advocate for Gabe, to a world of new opportunities for me, and I wanted to be able to look back on this time in our lives and remember how much good can come out of seemingly bad situations.
Last May, the day before school was out, we found a note on our door saying we had to move within 30 days. We weren't being evicted, but since we were month to month, they wanted us out so they could update the apartment and raise the rent significantly. The same day, while driving all over town looking for an apartment, our only vehicle died and needed an $800 repair, money we didn't have. Oh, and I had worked all night, so I was processing this on no sleep, though I was doing way better than my DH. He was FREAKING OUT. It got really bad. Everyone we knew was trying to help us find a place in a hurry. My mom knew people from her church whose son owns a bunch of rentals, so she gave me the number to call. Our new children's pastor at church mentioned that a place near them was for rent, so we called about it, only to discover that it was the same number my mom gave me. It was 1/2 a house for less than we were paying for our apartment, but the school wasn't very good. As it turned out, it needed a ton of work and wasn't going to be ready in time anyway, but the place we called about it had several other properties, 1 of which was in a much better school zone and was a whole house, but it was about $55 more than what we were paying. However, we had both recently gotten raises and could swing it, but it would be tight, and we were a little nervous about the utilities being high in such a big, old house. We took it though, and for the first time, we had a YARD, to send the kids out in when they were driving us nuts, and a DECK to hang out with friends on. So exciting! We're also in walking distance to downtown, including the library, which is great when you only have 1 car.
Having to move and start a new school this year really threw Gabe for a loop. My already hyper and somewhat volatile kid was becoming much more volatile. He was losing his temper a lot, and getting a bit destructive and starting to be really mean to his brothers. My mom took him to her brother's to play with all his cousins for a week in early June, which was a welcome break, and he had a blast, but it was no better when he came back. We did a lot of activities over the summer, including a fun academic program to help him not lose ground over the summer, but it became such a battle than I gave up on it and just made him read. He did day camp at church for a week and all the boys did VBS at another nearby church, which they're still talking about, but when he was home, it was often rough. One day, he hurt Alex badly enough to scare me to death. I called my mom, crying hysterically, and she came over and took him for the night and talked to him. I started researching counselors and insurance coverage for mental health and continued working on getting him into the twins' pediatrician. I wanted him evaluated for a learning disability and ADHD. I finally got the old records from our PCP (whose office had closed) to the pediatrician and got him a counseling appointment.
When I took him to the pediatrician and told her my concerns about his academic difficulties, she walked in and said, "Alright, we're going to get this kid some help. Are you ready to fight?" As it turns out, her son has dyslexia, and she was one of many parents who went to the state board of education to fight for resources for their kids with dyslexia in their local school district, which had been failing them miserably. Her local school system now has the best dyslexia program in the state. I nearly cried. After months of stress and worry and feeling like I was failing my kid, I finally had someone in my corner who could really help. She told me how to request a multi-factored evaluation from the school, and I got the ball rolling. We also completed questionnaires for ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Conduct Disorder. He ended up scoring just below average or low average on most things academically, but he scored VERY high for ADHD, and somewhat high for Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder. Our pediatrician doesn't buy the ODD and CD diagnoses though. She thinks it's all tied to the ADHD and learning difficulties. She and I still believe that he may be dyslexic. The things he scored lowest on in the school testing are what would be expected from someone with dyslexia, but only a neuropsych can diagnose that, and it's horrendously expensive and not covered by insurance. He is getting a TON of reading intervention though, even without an IEP. For now, he has a 504 plan at school that gives him testing accommodations, a wiggle seat, fidgets, frequent cues, repeating of directions, etc. He made huge improvement in his reading from October-December and only needs 6 more points on one of the standardized tests to pass the 3rd Grade Reading Guarantee. He's finally reading at an early-3rd-grade level, but is still about 2 levels behind where he should be now. He failed social studies the first quarter, but got an A- this quarter, so he is making progress. He's drowning in math, because it's so much new information, and he just can not do timed tests, but he seems to understand the concepts for the most part. It's mainly the memorization, and the story problems, that throw him.
The twins started kindergarten in the fall. We kept them together, because I knew how shy Alex was and that he would do much better with Isaac in his class. Well, he got over that fast! He's doing great in school, as I knew he would, since he's always LOVED books. It's amazing how much his confidence has grown since starting school, and now he's ready to be away from Isaac. My boy who used to be scared to death of the animals at the zoo is now standing up for himself and expressing his own ideas and swinging high and meeting new people. We'll be splitting the twins up next year. Isaac, on the other hand, my happy-go-lucky boy who's never worried about anything in his life, has had a little rougher time. He's doing well in school, but he keeps saying he's bad at things. Not sure where that's coming from, but I'm hoping being in a different class than his naturally-bright and newly-confident twin next year will help.
In October, Neil started getting really worried about the SUV. It needed wheel bearings, and we knew it was going to be prohibitively expensive. It was nearly paid off, so we started looking into getting a new vehicle. We were constantly getting pre-approval offers from our lender, so we discovered that we could get a minivan (which we had been wanting since the twins were born) for $0 down and a way better interest rate than we currently had. We went to the dealership with pre-approval certificate in hand and drove our new van off the lot about 90 minutes later. It was painless, and our payment is way less than it was, which helped cover the increased medical bills for Gabe's therapy and meds. See what God did there? Some friends from our old church also insisted on giving us the money to get the SUV fixed, so we had 2 working vehicles within a couple weeks. The new vehicle allowed the kids and I (Neil was working) to go to my uncle's house in PA for Thanksgiving, which we hadn't been able to do since I was pregnant with the twins. It was great to be with family again.
Meanwhile, work was getting more and more stressful. My BP and pulse have been running high, and I was having chest pain almost every day I worked. My bosses and co-workers were treating me like a manager, and I was getting calls and texts at home for questions or having to text people when I was off to figure out how to resolve issues that were created by (non-nursing) management. When I had to spend an hour texting back and forth with my DON on Christmas Eve for such an issue, then walk into work on Christmas knowing that I was going to get yelled at by a doctor and the patient, that was the last straw for me. Thanks to the new van, and having all the kids in school, I could finally look for another job, so I applied for multiple new jobs in January, one of which was at a hospital where our former NP works, and had 2 interviews in February. At the end of February, I finally got a job offer from the hospital where my friend works, for their critical care unit, and I accepted it. It's night shift, which will allow me to be home every afternoon to help Gabe with his homework, which is a huge blessing. I train on days for the first several weeks, but then I'll transition to nights. I'm so excited to have a job that's so much closer to my goal, and it's a small community hospital where they really value their employees and want everyone to get along. Plus, we get state benefits. I really couldn't ask for more at this point. It will be a learning curve for me, but I love to learn, so that's no problem. It forced us to find a babysitter for a couple hours when our shifts overlap, but I found a college student who's majoring in Early Childhood Ed and Psych, who wants to be an ABA therapist, and she can do mornings and evenings, so she's pretty much perfect, and it will be good for the boys to have another adult around sometimes. This job was clearly orchestrated by God. How else would I get a great job at the perfect time as a result of someone I worked with at the place I hated 2 years ago and for some reason kept in touch with?
Okay, that got crazy long, but I felt impressed in church today to get it all out in writing. It's been quite the roller coaster year, but the blessings have been numerous, from a new house and car to the perfect pediatrician, to a teacher who's a fantastic advocate for Gabe, to a world of new opportunities for me, and I wanted to be able to look back on this time in our lives and remember how much good can come out of seemingly bad situations.
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